When I am honoured - is it the honour that pleases me or what I am honoured for?
They say that it is never honour that pleases you but what you are honoured for. You cannot simply choose what pleases you - something either pleases you or it does not. You can think you have psychological and spiritually prepared yourself for a wonderful wedding day and still end up deflated. It is luck if you are honoured and feel pleased. It is not the honour that pleases you.
The honour is dishonour in a sense. It is, "I cannot really cause x to feel honoured. Only chance does that. If he feels honoured by me then I am manipulating him. I want him to think it is me." Genuine honour necessarily excludes manipulation. Fake honour to any degree is dishonour.
Some say that the idea that honour never pleases you but what you are honoured for is wrong. The answer looks to be, "Perhaps honour and what you are honoured for are BOTH necessary for you to be pleased. If only what you were honoured for pleased you then the honour would be useless and futile. It would not be honour. You cannot receive an honour unless it means something to you. That means the honour only has value in so far as you honour yourself and reward yourself in taking it. To accept an honour is to honour yourself."
Ponder that!
It is not what you are honoured for that pleases you but the honour! You may tell yourself though that it is all about what you are being honoured for. What is the point of the honour if it is not what pleases you?